Session 1

A: Do you like losing control?
B: I don't know. It depends I guess.
A: On what?
B: On the situation. If I need to be in control or if I can give it up.
A: What do you mean?
B: Well, if I'm drunk and I really need to be able to walk because otherwise I'll just pass out and freeze to death on the street because I'm all alone - I always drink on my own - losing control isn't that convenient. But if I'm lying in bed with someone anda having fun I don't see why I need to be in control.
A: So, you can afford to lose control when you're around others?
B: Maybe. Yes. If I know they'll take care of things. That they'll take control.
A: Tell me about the drinking.
B: Tell you what?
A: Whatever you want. What's your favorite drink for example.
B: Scotch and soda.
A: Do you only drink in bars or at home?
B: Bars. Usually one near work. Sometimes I stop by before going home.
A: Why do you only drink when you're on your own?
B: I don't know. I don't like talking to people when I'm drinking. I feel like they're trying to see how much I can handle. I know my friends don't like to see me drink.
A: Who are these friends?
B: We went to college together. We kept in touch I guess. Jerry and Sue I've known since high school.
A: Did they always know about you're drinking problem?
B: We used to party a lot together. I guess they knew I liked my liquor, they kind of saw it happen to me. But they only realized how bad it was after the accident. Hell, that's when I realized I had a problem.
A: You're aware of your problem. That's very good. Do you feel that you have any control over your problem?
B: You mean if I could stop?
A: Yes.
B: I don't know.
A: Why do you think you drink?
B: I killed the love of my life in a car accident. I live in a tiny appartment on the wrong side of the tracks. My landlord is an abusive son of a bitch who enjoys torturing me by cutting off the hot water. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore. My parents hate me for what I am.
A: But these are all results of your addiction.
B: They are the reasons why I keep drinking. You wanna know how got there in the first place.
A: Yes.
B: I don't know. I just don't know. I was never happy. When I drink I get to feel a little bit less. Less sad, less screwed up, less hated, less wrong. I'm wrong. Maybe that's why.
A: Being an alcoholic doesn't make you feel more wrong?
B: Of course it does, but at this point, what difference does it make? (Pause.) You're not very bright are you? You ask a lot of very obviously stupid question that demand stupid answers. I think I'll be going now.
A: We still have fifteen minutes.
B: I don't care.
A: Maybe that's you're problem.
B: My problem, right now, is you.
A: Maybe we should resume our session some other time.
B: Oh, so now you're in control. You are ending the session? I just ended it. You can't end it again. It's like the boss saying "You're fired" and then the other one goes "You can't fire me, I quit!".
A: Don't get upset. I think it's best if we stop this now and pick this up next week.
B: If I come back next week.
A: That's up to you Mr. Baxter, but I'd recommend that you do come back. We haven't even scratched the surface.
B: I'll scratch your surface if you don't shut it soon.
A: There's no reason to be rude, Mr. Baxter.
B: There's lots of reasons to be rude, like you thinking that I'm a moron.
A: I don't think you're a moron.
B: Then why do you ask me these questions? Like you don't know the answer.
A: You need to say some things so that not only I hear them but so that you do too.
B: Hmm.
A: Well, Mr. Baxter, I'll be seeing you in a week then.
B: Sure.