The Big Boo-Hoos

So you're not allowed to smoke in public places. So you’re not allowed to cover me in the ridiculously disgusting stink of your cigarettes. So can't openly disrespect everyone around you anymore and get away with it. So friggin what?

The world has improved thanks to the laws about smoking, which is something you cannot say very often about the world. What has not improved though are people's attitudes. Do these people who bitch and moan about the fact that they’re not allowed to indulge in their addiction while I'm trying to eat and breathe anymore seriously believe that they are right? Can you say delusional? Something doesn't have to be acceptable just because it's been the norm for a long time. Stoning used to be a pretty common practice (and still is in few places) as well as pedophilia, but people decided that it wasn't an acceptable social practice anymore.*

What about bringing dogs to restaurants? I've actually heard several people saying that it's unfair for dogs to be allowed when smoking isn't. The dogs in their vicinity were actually non-smelly and very quiet, but even if they very less like stuffed animals, how is that a valid comparison? A dog would probably not ruin your dinner by clogging your nostrils with smoke and inhibiting your other senses. Most dog people actually have the decency not to go to public places when their dog's a bit on the smelly side.

But let's say a lot of dog owners are not that considerate and that dogs should not be allowed in restaurants. Then I would ask people with small children to stay at home as well. Babies and toddlers are loud, they don't listen to commands, they are sticky and smelly and asking them to keep it down is neither socially acceptable nor very effective. Why bring your baby and the huge, super dynamic, jogging-mom friendly buggy it comes in to a restaurant down town at noon? Are you privileged to be less respectful because you're a parent? (Although at this point I should say that people who ignore women who are need help to get into a public transportation vehicle with a buggy should be punished with electroshock or something. We’d want there to be a learning effect, no?)

Also, there should be a perfume police. While I accept that tastes and apparently olfactory acuteness may vary, I don't see why I have to suffer every day because some broad had to bathe in her cheap or pseudo high-class brand perfume. It's rude and it's just as bad as stinking up the place where I'm having a meal with a cigarette. You might be entitled to your scent, but not to make me nauseous.

So, as you’ve cleverly deduced by now: There seems to be a need for some kind of regulatory force that makes sure that people make use of the common decency and respect they should have been taught as children, be it the law, rudeness police or random people. In any case: boo-friggin-hoo.


* (And please, anonymous guy living in your parents' basement, you're probably not even a smoker but still feel like you have to comment on the fact that comparing smoking to pedophilia is outrageous. I'm asking you: don't. Your throttled intellectual capacity can be relieved in more creative way than leaving anonymous and irrelevant comments on random blogs and forums.)

The Evil Plot

I've just spent two precious hours trying to get the 2010 Microsoft Office Suite to work. I think everybody knows what the result of such tedious dealings can be: a piece of crazy pie with a side of insanity.

I think that Gates, Jobbs and whoever else is in cahoots with those guys have worked out a secret but not really subtle plan to conquer the world. It's not what you think. It's not really about making us dependent on machines and connectivity. Oh no, that's just what they want you to think...

They are turning the world into Bedlam by making sure that any contact with a piece of their hard- or software (ooh, that sounds naughty, no?) will make people increasingly mad. And it's working!

I'm telling you people, try to hang on to you sanity! Counterbalance the excessive amounts of annoyance that will inevitably lead to the downfall of humanity with Zen Buddhism or Yoga. Anything that will block out the madness that your computer might be trying to invoke in you.

Be brave.

Diversity - Welcome to the Clone Wars

University: a place where a plethora of types and personalities are supposed to gather to bathe in knowledge and try to indulge in their academic aspirations. Showing interest and participating is what counts. You can be yourself and people will respect it as long as your not annoying anyone too much, which means you can wear whatever you want and be a fan of whatever you want and not fear judgment by your peers. Shouldn't that be the perfect basis for people to grow out of the skins they wore in High School and transform into whatever they choose to be? I thought that meant I would experience more diversity in the way people chose to display themselves.

But starting my third year, I've started to realize that somehow, more and more people have joined the ranks of clones of the H&M- and Burberry-models. It's all a sea of beige and black and navy blue that seems to engulf personal traits and swallow any sign of individuality. I hardly see any Goths anymore or any pink haired pseudo-punks. Or any boring people who dare wear stuff that hasn't been in since 1993.

How the hell am I supposed to judge people by their exterior if they all look the same? Yeah, yeah, I'm aware I shoudn't do that, but come on, we all do it. We need some clues, though and when everyone is wearing blazers and ballerinas and fake army boots and charm bracelets and oversized glasses, how are we supposed to differentiate between the people who look stuck up or rich or nice or interesting? I need people to have freaky tatoos or wear funny hats and weird shoes or something. Otherwise I just have to assume that eyerone is boring. I'll have to start judging people by their eye color and I really wouldn't want to go there.

Perfect Morning

What happened to just saying "screw you"?

Aaaand we're back in business...I'd like to say I'm back with a vengeance but let's see whether I can keep this up first. I have been gone for over a year, during which I don't believe I have written one word about anything else but literature and superficial views on culture.

But now my blog's all pimped up and I got one year of beautiful and terrifying experiences that I can share with the wider public that is doing anything but reading my blog. But hey, I've immersed myself in the bright and shiny world of Hollywood often enough to allow the brainwashing to take effect. I'm going to believe that my sassiness and wit will be discovered by someone in power and that I'll get a column and than a book deal and so on and so forth. You gotta believe. (And if you, dear reader, are that someone, don't think I'm too arrogant, sometimes the faux confidence will just get you farther than humility, dontcha think?)

Anyway, this is supposed to be a short comment on strangers. Our behavior towards stranger is so bizarre sometimes. We have been taught to respect others' privacy, to mind others' wishes and to be polite; however, we (or I, if you prefer to take yourself out of the equation) are very quick to judge strangers and to dislike them for something small like walking to slowly when they're right in front of us or starting to count their change in front of the cashier when you've been waiting in line for fifteen minutes at the grocery store. I believe sometimes we are way passed that emotion and start to fantasize about thumping them. Hard. Especially when people are just being plain rude.

That is not very Zen. As a wise little green man said, anger leads to the dark side. Or high blood pressure. Whatever, it's not good for you. So I think there's two ways to handle this. When we are having a good day we should maybe allow ourselves - not to often, though - to tell these people to go screw themselves. I'm talking about the rude people here, not just the slow walkers, although they deserve to sometimes. Just vent your emotions and share the rudeness. I think it's relieving. On a bad day though, it might be better to choose the high road and be all Jesus like. Turn the other cheek or whatever. Give people a Buddha like smile and just think: "Hey, maybe they are just having a bad day, too." Or maybe they're idiots, but that just makes you the better person. And at the end of the day you can give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being so Jedi like.