Mrs. Fantastico

I'm not a cat person. I like cats, but I'm not a cat person. I like dogs, too. But we have cats. And I tend to talk about my cats kinda often. But that's because my cats are reeeealy weird.

Kitty (short for Mrs. Kitty Fantastico), for instance, is a very strange cat. Since our other cat Miou-Miou suddenly jumped her and tried to kill her, she lives in my room. She's a good roomie, you know, never leaves a mess, I never find any empty beer cans lying around and she's quiet most of the time. But the other day, I woke up in the middle of the night and there she was, sitting next to me, just staring at me. She didn't move. Her yellow eyes were fixed on me and I felt like she had something to say. I have no idea what, though, coz I don't speak cat, but I think she was trying to scare me. She's probably trying to get rid of me. She also does this thing, where she gets up and leaves as soon as I get near her. Or when I'm in the shower, she starts meowing, like she needs to get in the bathroom right that moment or she'll pee in my shoes. But I'm not budging. I even thought about some payback for all those times I got out of the shower with shampooed hair just to open the frigging bathroom door for her: I'm going to get up in the middle of the night, when she's sleeping and I'm just going to stare at her. I'll make some noise so she wakes up and sees me, staring. Vengeance will be mine.

"You can't help that. We're all mad here." - The Cheshire Cat