The Big Boo-Hoos

So you're not allowed to smoke in public places. So you’re not allowed to cover me in the ridiculously disgusting stink of your cigarettes. So can't openly disrespect everyone around you anymore and get away with it. So friggin what?

The world has improved thanks to the laws about smoking, which is something you cannot say very often about the world. What has not improved though are people's attitudes. Do these people who bitch and moan about the fact that they’re not allowed to indulge in their addiction while I'm trying to eat and breathe anymore seriously believe that they are right? Can you say delusional? Something doesn't have to be acceptable just because it's been the norm for a long time. Stoning used to be a pretty common practice (and still is in few places) as well as pedophilia, but people decided that it wasn't an acceptable social practice anymore.*

What about bringing dogs to restaurants? I've actually heard several people saying that it's unfair for dogs to be allowed when smoking isn't. The dogs in their vicinity were actually non-smelly and very quiet, but even if they very less like stuffed animals, how is that a valid comparison? A dog would probably not ruin your dinner by clogging your nostrils with smoke and inhibiting your other senses. Most dog people actually have the decency not to go to public places when their dog's a bit on the smelly side.

But let's say a lot of dog owners are not that considerate and that dogs should not be allowed in restaurants. Then I would ask people with small children to stay at home as well. Babies and toddlers are loud, they don't listen to commands, they are sticky and smelly and asking them to keep it down is neither socially acceptable nor very effective. Why bring your baby and the huge, super dynamic, jogging-mom friendly buggy it comes in to a restaurant down town at noon? Are you privileged to be less respectful because you're a parent? (Although at this point I should say that people who ignore women who are need help to get into a public transportation vehicle with a buggy should be punished with electroshock or something. We’d want there to be a learning effect, no?)

Also, there should be a perfume police. While I accept that tastes and apparently olfactory acuteness may vary, I don't see why I have to suffer every day because some broad had to bathe in her cheap or pseudo high-class brand perfume. It's rude and it's just as bad as stinking up the place where I'm having a meal with a cigarette. You might be entitled to your scent, but not to make me nauseous.

So, as you’ve cleverly deduced by now: There seems to be a need for some kind of regulatory force that makes sure that people make use of the common decency and respect they should have been taught as children, be it the law, rudeness police or random people. In any case: boo-friggin-hoo.


* (And please, anonymous guy living in your parents' basement, you're probably not even a smoker but still feel like you have to comment on the fact that comparing smoking to pedophilia is outrageous. I'm asking you: don't. Your throttled intellectual capacity can be relieved in more creative way than leaving anonymous and irrelevant comments on random blogs and forums.)

The Evil Plot

I've just spent two precious hours trying to get the 2010 Microsoft Office Suite to work. I think everybody knows what the result of such tedious dealings can be: a piece of crazy pie with a side of insanity.

I think that Gates, Jobbs and whoever else is in cahoots with those guys have worked out a secret but not really subtle plan to conquer the world. It's not what you think. It's not really about making us dependent on machines and connectivity. Oh no, that's just what they want you to think...

They are turning the world into Bedlam by making sure that any contact with a piece of their hard- or software (ooh, that sounds naughty, no?) will make people increasingly mad. And it's working!

I'm telling you people, try to hang on to you sanity! Counterbalance the excessive amounts of annoyance that will inevitably lead to the downfall of humanity with Zen Buddhism or Yoga. Anything that will block out the madness that your computer might be trying to invoke in you.

Be brave.

Diversity - Welcome to the Clone Wars

University: a place where a plethora of types and personalities are supposed to gather to bathe in knowledge and try to indulge in their academic aspirations. Showing interest and participating is what counts. You can be yourself and people will respect it as long as your not annoying anyone too much, which means you can wear whatever you want and be a fan of whatever you want and not fear judgment by your peers. Shouldn't that be the perfect basis for people to grow out of the skins they wore in High School and transform into whatever they choose to be? I thought that meant I would experience more diversity in the way people chose to display themselves.

But starting my third year, I've started to realize that somehow, more and more people have joined the ranks of clones of the H&M- and Burberry-models. It's all a sea of beige and black and navy blue that seems to engulf personal traits and swallow any sign of individuality. I hardly see any Goths anymore or any pink haired pseudo-punks. Or any boring people who dare wear stuff that hasn't been in since 1993.

How the hell am I supposed to judge people by their exterior if they all look the same? Yeah, yeah, I'm aware I shoudn't do that, but come on, we all do it. We need some clues, though and when everyone is wearing blazers and ballerinas and fake army boots and charm bracelets and oversized glasses, how are we supposed to differentiate between the people who look stuck up or rich or nice or interesting? I need people to have freaky tatoos or wear funny hats and weird shoes or something. Otherwise I just have to assume that eyerone is boring. I'll have to start judging people by their eye color and I really wouldn't want to go there.

Perfect Morning

What happened to just saying "screw you"?

Aaaand we're back in business...I'd like to say I'm back with a vengeance but let's see whether I can keep this up first. I have been gone for over a year, during which I don't believe I have written one word about anything else but literature and superficial views on culture.

But now my blog's all pimped up and I got one year of beautiful and terrifying experiences that I can share with the wider public that is doing anything but reading my blog. But hey, I've immersed myself in the bright and shiny world of Hollywood often enough to allow the brainwashing to take effect. I'm going to believe that my sassiness and wit will be discovered by someone in power and that I'll get a column and than a book deal and so on and so forth. You gotta believe. (And if you, dear reader, are that someone, don't think I'm too arrogant, sometimes the faux confidence will just get you farther than humility, dontcha think?)

Anyway, this is supposed to be a short comment on strangers. Our behavior towards stranger is so bizarre sometimes. We have been taught to respect others' privacy, to mind others' wishes and to be polite; however, we (or I, if you prefer to take yourself out of the equation) are very quick to judge strangers and to dislike them for something small like walking to slowly when they're right in front of us or starting to count their change in front of the cashier when you've been waiting in line for fifteen minutes at the grocery store. I believe sometimes we are way passed that emotion and start to fantasize about thumping them. Hard. Especially when people are just being plain rude.

That is not very Zen. As a wise little green man said, anger leads to the dark side. Or high blood pressure. Whatever, it's not good for you. So I think there's two ways to handle this. When we are having a good day we should maybe allow ourselves - not to often, though - to tell these people to go screw themselves. I'm talking about the rude people here, not just the slow walkers, although they deserve to sometimes. Just vent your emotions and share the rudeness. I think it's relieving. On a bad day though, it might be better to choose the high road and be all Jesus like. Turn the other cheek or whatever. Give people a Buddha like smile and just think: "Hey, maybe they are just having a bad day, too." Or maybe they're idiots, but that just makes you the better person. And at the end of the day you can give yourself a pat on the shoulder for being so Jedi like.

White Pride: Are you kidding me?

I stumbled over the Ku Klux Klan website tonight, and am still in a state of shock. Shock at the outrageous amount of stupidity (and I'm sorry, but there's just no other way to put this) which hits you in waves on that website. A bunch of so called good Christians has united to spread their moronic justifications for being bigoted and backward on the internet.

First thing I did was skimming over the "Requirements" section. What exactly do you need to do to be a member? Well, the "one requirement" is that you be a good Christian who lives his life as an "honorable, decent, dignified white [person]". When join the ranks of the Knights Party, you at first attain the rank of a page, then of a squire and finally of a knight, depending on your enthusiasm, support and action. Meaning: How many books can you sell, how many brochures (which are probably as eloquent as all the other texts on the website) can you distribute, and most importantly, how much fear and hate can you spread? How many equally idiotic SOBs can you convince that blacks are taking away you jobs and your women, or that gays secretly want to rape your skinny white ass? Give it your best shot, and I'm sure some dumb f… will buy your shit. (Pardon the language, but wow am I pissed! And not in the British way)

Then I listened to a couple of seriously disturbing women discuss important issues such as the Webster's definition of marriage (they are of course appalled that it includes same sex couples) or Family Guy. I got it when one of the women said that responsible parents shouldn't watch that show with their children, because most of the time it's really disturbing (horse sperm in the baby's cereals). On the other hand, if you have half a brain, you know that you're kid shouldn't be up at 8 p.m. watching TV or Family Guy (or Fox channel in general, for that matter!) anyway, so don't get upset at the creators of the program but at dimwits who thought they made good parents. One of them says that if such programs are prime time TV, then their children will sneak off to their rooms and watch it. HOW ABOUT NOT PUTTING A DAMN TV IN YOUR CHILDREN'S BEDROOM?

But of course, they do attack the creators (badly researched, by the way). "They like to have programs that mock Christians." Really, you think? Christian are a bunch of people who believe that some invisible guy is peeping at them all the time and counting the cookies in the forbidden cookie jar; and should Billie and Bobbie have eaten any of the forbidden cookies, they're going to fiery hell, while all the kids who behaved go to the magic place where unicorns make ice-cream magically appear and you can eat junk food all day without getting fat. Generally they all behave like animals, just as all humans, because they love sex and food and all that stuff just as much as the next guy. But every now and then, they can pretend to be better than the rest because they can cite a book written by old frustrated men a gazillion years ago. Criticizing Christian is absolutely justified nowadays, because we know better than to believe every crap laid in front of us. Rational thinking people have any right to criticize any religion, because they are what keeps the modern world from becoming a civilized world.

Then one of the women said, "if you ever saw old recordings of people in all parts of the world burning books, it wasn't because they were against free speech, but because it was garbage." You mean like the Nazis? Yeah sure, when they burned anti-nationalist manifests or Polish libraries it wasn't because they wanted to subjugate free thought, but because it was trashy reading material.

Then they go on criticizing TV for educating their children about sex. Either you don't let your kid hang out in front of the TV 24/7 and control what s/he's watching, or you accept that you kid will pick up stuff that belongs to the grown-up world.

The most preposterous statement was made about Teen Magazine, which features an "article" about crushes, illustrated by the teen romance in a movie between a white boy and a – wait for it – Mexican girl! Gosh, now ain't that just the darnest thing: an interracial relationship. In their eyes, this is of course ruining their children's spiritual and intellectual (?) welfare.

Any halfway decent, non-racist person just has to wince at the thought that these people procreated. At that point, you can't really blame the children for become little (and literal) spawns of evil.

I mean, apart from the fact that these women are not actually capable of seeing the irony and the (sometimes) intelligent criticism of modern society in shows such as Family Guy, they are telling people that everyone who has a different opinion wants to destroy their values and the values of American society in general. They are so far away from any humanist principle ever established, I think we would do them (and us) a great favor if they were shoved through a wormhole, right into the middle ages. At least their poor children won't be corrupted by evil TV producers there.

Why, I ask you, should anyone be proud of the white race? What is it exactly, as a race that makes us so much better than the rest? When I hear and see people like that, I lose hope. And I thank whatever forces are responsible, that my parents aren't mindless, intolerant, superstitious zombies.

Spawns of Evil

Are children assholes because of their genes or their upbringing? In both cases the parents are to blame. Either they didn't listen to their bodies telling them that their propagation would result in an unfortunate genetic mix, or they are simply not able to teach their children how to behave like a decent human being. (Does this imply that they don't know how to be a decent person themselves? - Maybe.) Now, if you consider how many in-duh-viduals you meet everyday that you would categorize as "not really that decent", it kind of gets you thinking about people's general ability to pick a suitable partner for procreation or to convey the knowledge all of us need if we want to function in society without annoying the beejezus out of everybody.

Still, this doesn't really help you when you're faced with a child you can only classify as a spawn of the Dark Prince himself (although I'm pretty sure dear old Lucy's probaly got a greater sense of decency and child-raising skills than most humans!) . You want to blame the child, but belonging the "decent" category of people, how can you do possibly blame a child for its parent's mistakes? That's just wrong, right? One way out would be to resolve to a) hate the parents for unleashing this force of evil upon the creatures of this earth, b) forgive the child for its behavior and loving it as the innocent creature it really is (totally Buddha/Jesus like) and c) not degrade oneself to be petty by behaving like the/a child. OR you do exactly that, thus relieving yourself of the pain of being the adult and being a super-saint, which, if we are all honest with ourselves, is exactly what we want to do.

The only problem is that these little demons of the fiery dominion can be cunning little monsters. By lowering yourself to their level you are tempted to make childish remarks. Remember that they themselves may have certain powers of humilitation and provocation - so you shouldn't forget that you ARE and adult, and that you can use your knowledge to outsmart them. Your mantra: Have faith in yourself and you will be able to vanquish this unearthly evil.
Important: make sure that the parents can't catch you. The kid may tattle, but that is not enough evidence to get you nailed. Be swift, be cruel.

Should you choose to be the bigger person (which you probably are anyway), that's fine. You can always comfort yourself with the knowledge that YOU know that your smarter and faster and meaner than any little kid. But can you really sleep at night?

Buddha Tivisattwa

I find myself to be in an odd mood. (Now there's a funny combination of words 'odd mood', just look at those letters, trying to confuse you and whatnot...Off topic, I know.) I feel neither very productive nor really lazy. I just am. Have I reached a higher plane of existence? Am I to return to this terrestial plane so as to help others find enlightenment? All you need is a big TV screen, in front of which you try not to fall asleep, while watching a Sandra Bullock comedy after having read two chapters on the relation between semantics and psycholinguistics. I'm going to be Tivisattwa, Buddha of TV Induced Wisdom and Peace. I bet I'll look just dashing in one of those shawly thingies.

100th Post: A List of Awesomeness

So, here we go again. Good to know that humanity as such still pretty much just sucks. Freaking people and their oh so righteous wars. I suck too. Didn't squeeze in that 100th post in 2008. Booh me. But let's not dwell on things past - let's move on to brighter things. Such as...

MILK. Milk is such a wonderfully delicious thing. Soooo tasty. And it's a constant. We've always liked milk, we've always drunk milk and we always will. Milk makes the universe a better places. Everything can suck, but one glass of milk can make things just that tiny bit better. Helps if it's served with a cookie. (This is not to offend or ostracize lactose intolerant people. Soy milk rocks.)

OJ. Is there anything better than a good ol' glass of OJ with your breakfast. Even Dracula couldn't turn down a freshly squeezed glass of orangy goodness. Looks totally awesome if you put some blood in it too - like a sunset.

BEDS. Beds are great. You can sleep in them, which is like one of my favorite pass-times. You can do slightly more straining but also more fun stuff in them. You can just chill and read a book or write on your laptop in them. You can take a really good look at the ceiling. The possibilities seem endless.

ICE CREAM. I love McLachlan's song "Ice Cream"...Your love is better than ice cream, better than anything else that I've tried. (To that special person out there: so true...) But still, ice cream is like the greatest invention. You can never have enough. People who don't like ice cream are just downright weird. And not in a good way.

So that's my list. Okay, I forgot an important one...LOVE. Hands down the most amazing thing in the universe. (I know, it's cheesy, but hey, I'm just a sucker for love.)

They Broke Me

Uhach...Woody Allen always makes me very pensive and moody and makes me worry about my existence. Like I have the time or the energy to stop and worry if anything even makes any sense. Damn you and your scripts, you clarinette playing devil!

Anywho...the Xmas consumerism craze has gotten a hold of me and all I can think about is the menu, the decorations and the goddamn tree. Everytime I'm in the city there are so many colorful glittery peppy things screaming at me through the windows "buy me! buy me!" and millions of christmasy smells, I fear that I'll have a sensory overload and just slip into a zombie-like state. That's what the time before Christmas really is, the "Nights of the Shopping Dead". Who cares that some guy (I think his name was Jason or Jessie or something like that) was born, only to get nailed to a cross some 30 years later to save our souls from eternal damnation? Pfff, what am I saying, actually, Christians totally stole that holiday from nice, innocent pagans, who just wanted to celebrate the rebirth of the Great God (or nature) who was going to bloom in Spring with a bit of honey wine, good food and a Yule log. But nooo, Christians just had to make it aaaall about themselves. Friggin' egomaniacs.

But seriously, they broke me. As soon as I get near a store I get the urge to shop. Why do I want to give my money away when I'm so happy everytime I get some? I think they just broke me with all their Christmas carols and their Gingerbread Lattes. Next year I'm going to Barbados and I'll just ignore Christmas.

Session 1

A: Do you like losing control?
B: I don't know. It depends I guess.
A: On what?
B: On the situation. If I need to be in control or if I can give it up.
A: What do you mean?
B: Well, if I'm drunk and I really need to be able to walk because otherwise I'll just pass out and freeze to death on the street because I'm all alone - I always drink on my own - losing control isn't that convenient. But if I'm lying in bed with someone anda having fun I don't see why I need to be in control.
A: So, you can afford to lose control when you're around others?
B: Maybe. Yes. If I know they'll take care of things. That they'll take control.
A: Tell me about the drinking.
B: Tell you what?
A: Whatever you want. What's your favorite drink for example.
B: Scotch and soda.
A: Do you only drink in bars or at home?
B: Bars. Usually one near work. Sometimes I stop by before going home.
A: Why do you only drink when you're on your own?
B: I don't know. I don't like talking to people when I'm drinking. I feel like they're trying to see how much I can handle. I know my friends don't like to see me drink.
A: Who are these friends?
B: We went to college together. We kept in touch I guess. Jerry and Sue I've known since high school.
A: Did they always know about you're drinking problem?
B: We used to party a lot together. I guess they knew I liked my liquor, they kind of saw it happen to me. But they only realized how bad it was after the accident. Hell, that's when I realized I had a problem.
A: You're aware of your problem. That's very good. Do you feel that you have any control over your problem?
B: You mean if I could stop?
A: Yes.
B: I don't know.
A: Why do you think you drink?
B: I killed the love of my life in a car accident. I live in a tiny appartment on the wrong side of the tracks. My landlord is an abusive son of a bitch who enjoys torturing me by cutting off the hot water. My sister doesn't talk to me anymore. My parents hate me for what I am.
A: But these are all results of your addiction.
B: They are the reasons why I keep drinking. You wanna know how got there in the first place.
A: Yes.
B: I don't know. I just don't know. I was never happy. When I drink I get to feel a little bit less. Less sad, less screwed up, less hated, less wrong. I'm wrong. Maybe that's why.
A: Being an alcoholic doesn't make you feel more wrong?
B: Of course it does, but at this point, what difference does it make? (Pause.) You're not very bright are you? You ask a lot of very obviously stupid question that demand stupid answers. I think I'll be going now.
A: We still have fifteen minutes.
B: I don't care.
A: Maybe that's you're problem.
B: My problem, right now, is you.
A: Maybe we should resume our session some other time.
B: Oh, so now you're in control. You are ending the session? I just ended it. You can't end it again. It's like the boss saying "You're fired" and then the other one goes "You can't fire me, I quit!".
A: Don't get upset. I think it's best if we stop this now and pick this up next week.
B: If I come back next week.
A: That's up to you Mr. Baxter, but I'd recommend that you do come back. We haven't even scratched the surface.
B: I'll scratch your surface if you don't shut it soon.
A: There's no reason to be rude, Mr. Baxter.
B: There's lots of reasons to be rude, like you thinking that I'm a moron.
A: I don't think you're a moron.
B: Then why do you ask me these questions? Like you don't know the answer.
A: You need to say some things so that not only I hear them but so that you do too.
B: Hmm.
A: Well, Mr. Baxter, I'll be seeing you in a week then.
B: Sure.

Why...and Whatever Happened To That Band Of Mine?

(So why am I all blogcrazy these days? Cuz I'm close to 100 posts! Yippee!)

Remember my band? (Well, imaginary bad, but who cares?) You know, there was the peroxideblond bass player Lou, the female drummer called Paco and June on the guitar...Well, we broke up this summer. The dynamics just weren't right anymore. Lou got a divorce and had a fling with a diplomat's daughter who turned out to be a sadistic evil bitch, but you know Lou, he had totally fallen for her and got all obsessed.

Then there's Paco; sheesh, does that girl know how to make a mess. She's tattooed all over, I mean, like a sailor or something. Then one night, she gets drunk at this dump of a bar and hooks up with a skank called Crystall or Chrissie or something. Anyway, she's so drunk she gets that cow's name tattooed on her left shoulder. Of course, when she gets home the next morning, she discovers it, totally freaks because her girlfriend is coming back from a business trip the next day and will no doubt get behind her love's indiscretion. So she flees to her parents, hoping that she can avoid seeing her girl until she can have the tattoo removed. Thing is, her parents don't know about her being gay, so she has to tell them this humongous lie. Of course, her girlfriend is really worried when she gets back (and slightly pissed, 'cause Paco had promissed to pick her up at the airport and had left her some half-assed message about her mother not being well) and goes to Paco's parents house. Paco gets mad at her, saying that she was trying to force her to come out of the closet to her parents and they get into this huge fight at her parents' house. It's at the point of getting violent when Paco's dad is like "Kid, chill, we know. What do we look like, morons?" (No one answered that question).
So after that everything was alright, Paco even told her about her tattoo and the story behind it. All was forgiven and forgotten. She and her girl were apparently having amazing sex, as Paco just couldn't keep telling us over and over again. But she was getting really distracted and kept missing rehearsals and stuff.

And of course, there's Lou...June is nice, even though she can be very moody sometimes. She just has these phases when she stops talking. She just stares, even if you ask her a direct question. You're afraid she's gonna go all Haley Joel Osment on your ass. So her brooding combined with Lou having a stalkery obsession and Paco's incesent yapping about the beauty of her relationship and her lack to attend band practice, just led to trouble.What did I do? Hey, I'm a self-declared loon, I don't need any other excuse to behave badly. Anywho...we decided that it might be good to put the whole band thing on ice 'till everybody gets a grip.

R.W. Genius

Lots of people feel they have something to be envied for, and I guess in some cases they do, (I know I do...) like a hot car, a talent or an amazing BF.
But there are people who have something you can really envy them for because you can't just get it, not for money, not by getting them stoned or drunk; and that's smarts and a good sense of humor.

Robin Williams is without doubt one of the funniest individuals on this godforsaken rock called Earth. He's like on speed, never misses a beat, goes through eight different personalities in five seconds and, man, can he diss the French...I just don't think anyone should live without having experienced his genius.
Here's some quotes, just to prove that I'm friggin' right.

"Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose."

"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"Do you think God gets stoned? I think so...look at the platypus." (or Cher)

"Having George W. Bush giving lecture in business ethics is like a leper giving you a facial, it just doesn't work out."

Just a taste...but not knowing him is like being deprived of Real Time With Bill Maher - it makes life so much less worth living.

Smile

Things that make you sad. There are so many of them out there. People's homes are burning down in California. Little kids in Afghanistan are afraid they'll be killed if they visit a school built by the Americans. Movies like "Nights at Rodanthe" (f*** the moral, if the girl doesn't get the guy in the end, it's a sad bloody movie).
Yeah, so I get all moody when I listen to Robert Downey Jr.'s "Futurist" album (and when I watch the news or read the paper). Between "Falling in Love With A Broken Heart" and wondering about "Hannah"'s abusive relationship there are so many ups and downs you don't know whether you wanna hang yourself or dance. But then, finally in the end, there comes the song that's supposed to make everything right again: "Smile". If you smile through fear and sorrow, smile, and maybe tomorrow, you'll see the sun shining through, for you...Smile, what's the use of crying, You'll find that life is still worthwhile, if you just smile...
Honestly, right now, I don't have a reason in the world to be sad and I find myself smiling quite a lot lately. And guess what - it feels great.

Time Makes You Bolder

Is it time? That makes you bolder, I mean. Or is it just experience, which the passing of time entails? There really are these moments when you realize that you've gotten older, that you've changed. The changes might have been subtle at first, but sooner or later you'll notice that you're not who you were a year ago. Mostly I hope that I'll change into a braver person. Maybe I've just been afraid of changing. Not anymore. Right?

Check It Out

Loupine has new deviations for the world! Check it out on loupine.deviantart.com

Quotes: Life, Sin and Death

When I get all thoughtful, I like to distract myself by reading about the smart stuff other, cleverer people thought of. Who really wants to hear what I got to say anyway? It's all been said and probably better.

"You grow up the day you have your first real laugh - at yourself." - Ethel Barrymore

"I know the world is unfair, but why isn't it ever unfair in my favor?" - Bill Watterson

"There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose you heart's desire. The other is to gaint it." - George Bernard Shaw

"Life is something everyone should try at least once." - Anonymous

"The world is a stage, but he play is badly cast." - Ocar Wilde

"I don't believe in an afterlife, so I don't have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse." - Isaac Asimov

"The worst sin toward our fellow creatures is not to hate them, but to be indifferent to them; it's the essence of inhumanity." - George Bernard Shaw

"Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself isn't sinful - just stupid.)" - Robert A. Heinlein

"Death is one of the few things that can easily be done lying down. The difference between death and sex is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you." - Woody Allen

"To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing." - Anonymous

I Want You

Isn't that one of the most ambiguous statements ever? Uncle Sam could totally be an old sex-crazed perv. Imagine him saying it in a very Gollum-like voice..."I waaaaant youuuu."
Or it could be all sexy Dracula-style, "I vaant you..." , a very desperate "I want you", a final choice after some hesitation "I want you" or an expression of possession "I want you".

Now to something completely different...
After listening to the Best of Meat Loaf for something like days, I have decided that "Took the Words Right Out Of My Mouth" is one of the greatest songs ever. There are different live recordings of the song, and depending which one you have, the beginning is totally different. Mine is the 1987, 6:51 (Rock'n'Roll Hero) version, and it's one of the sexiest things I've ever heard. Here's the lyrics...

Him: On a hot summer night.
Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Her: Will he offer me his mouth?
Him: Yes
Her: Will he offer me his teeth?
Him: Yes
Her: Will he offer me his jaws?
Him: Yes
Her: Will he offer me his hunger?
Him: Yes
Her: Again. Will he offer me his hunger?
Him: Yes
Her: And will he starve without me?
Him: Yes
Her: And does he love me?
Him :Yes
Her: Yes
Him: On a hot summer night.
Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
Her: Yes
Him: I bet you say that to all the boys.

And then the brilliant guitar launches into the amazing melody...oh, what the hell, here's the rest of the lyrics.

It was a hot summer night and the beach was burning
There was a fog crawling over the sand
When I listen to your heart I hear the whole world turning
I see the shooting stars
Falling through your trembling hands
You were licking your lips and your lipstick shining
I was dying just to ask for a taste
We were lying together in a silver lining
By the light of the moon
You know there's not another moment
Not another moment
Not another moment to waste

You hold me so close that my knees grow weak
But my soul is flying high above the ground
I'm trying to speak but no matter what I do
I just can't seem to make any sound
And then you took the words right out of my mouth
Oh-it must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
And I swear it's true
I was just about to say I love you
And then you took the words right out of my mouth
Oh-it must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
And I swear it's true
I was just about to say I love you

Now my body is shaking like a wave on the water
And I guess that I'm beginning to grin
Oooh, we're finally alone and we can do what we want to
The night is young
And ain't no one gonna know where you
No one gonna know where you
No one's gonna know where you've been
You were licking your lips and your lipstick shining
I was dying just to ask for a taste
We were lying together in a silver lining
By the light of the moon
You know there's not another moment to waste

And then you took the words right out of my mouth
Oh-it must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
And I swear it's true
I was just about to say I love you
And then you took the words right out of my mouth
Oh-it must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
And I swear it's true
I was just about to say I love you
You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
You took the words right out of my mouth
It must have been while you were kissing me
YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH
IT MUST OF BEEN WHILE YOU WERE KISSING ME

Oh, what would the world be without rock'n'roll?

Human kind - who's idea was that anyway?

When Lucifer told God to shove it, he was just saying out loud what everybody else was thinking. Mike and Gabe, although not exactly what you'd call pals, where just too chickenshit to speak up. The whole concept of humanity just seemed...well, stupid might be a bit of a strong word, but not really thought through. Fiddle with a monkey's DNA and what do you get? A moron who can build weapons to cause pain, be cruel and who has only three things on his mind: sex, power and food.
So Lucifer just said, "Hey, if they are allowed to do whatever they want and fuck (up), I think we all should." But you know, most of the others were like "Come on, man, the Big Guy knows what he's doing; he has a brilliant master plan." - "How do you know?", Luc asked, "Did he tell you?" - "Well, no, but you know, he's like totally almighty and stuff...he's gotta have a plan." Now Luc didn't really like to be a flunky or bimbo, so he and his buddies went ballistic on his co-angels, and there was a lot of fighting and you know how that turned out.

Well, some days I understand Luc. What the Hell, if you pardon the pun, was the Guy upstairs thinking? Are we just a really sick experiment? Research aim: "How abominable can a sentient being be?" Because sometimes human behavior baffles me to the point of disgust, even nausea. We are so caught up in selfishness and petty issues, we don't even consider that there's a world around us, that hurt is eating up everything and that we, as a race, are moving in a veeery bad direction. No, wrong, we've been going in that direction for thousands of years and we are nearing the horrible destination. We created social codes and a moral that are so far away from the true meaning of humanity that they've made us immobile; we cannot go beyond our own needs and thoughts, we are stuck in a bubble of emotional detachment and a lack of empathy. Most of us cannot and to not want to suffer with or for others, don't reach out to others out of the sheer kindness of our hearts. We are nothing like the great beings we like to think were God's greatest creation.

But that's just some days. Sometimes we prove that we are exceptional, in a good way. We do incredible things out of love, anger, fear, compassion and hate; we prove that we can go beyond all boundaries if the motivation is strong enough. We can create things like music and poetry. We can form bonds with others that can last as long as mortality lets us.

And then I gotta admit that I do not believe that we're an all-powerful kid's science project. I think we are existence, as far as we understand. I don't have to believe that it all makes sense, that there's a plan, do I? I just have to believe in me and you.





BTW: Did you know that Lucifer, which means "Bringer of Light" (lat. lux light and ferre bring), is not only the name commonly reffering to Satan, but also what the planet Venus was called when it rises in the morning or precedes the sun (in astronomical terms)? Pliny the Elder (Gaius Plinius Secundus) said, "The star called Venus … when it rises in the morning is given the name Lucifer … but when it shines at sunset it is called Vesper."

Escapist, moi?

Auoch (or however you write that noise you make when you're something between tired, happy, but still annoyed)...I have so much stuff I should be doing, but I feel like I'd be giving in to my inner goody two-shoes if I did what's smart. I don't want to be smart. I want to curl up in my bed with a good book (I got THE GRAVEYARD BOOK, signed by the masters themselves!!!) and a hot cocoa or tea and relaaax...but life ain't fair, so instead of bitching around I should just get to it and do what must be done. (But what would life be if we didn't bitch every once in a while?) Now just think of the paradox; I'm sitting here, considering what a mistake it this to put things off, which in itself is the best way to delay things. I know, you're not stupid, you caught on to that. I'm going to hate myself for doing this tomorrow. I'll be tired and grumpy and there'll be no one else to blame but me...but I can live with that.

So...aren't yall glad that it's all over tomorrow? The guessing, the wishing, the hoping, the praying...Please, America, don't mess this up. Pretty please with a cherry on top.

Well, I guess this is the end of my rambling...which means I get to do my homework. Yipee!